Recently I posted on Linkedin about a response I received from a candidate who I had unfortunately had to reject from a job application. Here was the post: 

“Never contact me again you f*ing d*ckhead.”

That’s how a candidate replied to a polite rejection email from me last month.

Here’s some of what else they wrote:

🔹“Lazy, uneducated automated response.”

🔹“You have zero knowledge, experience or expertise.”

🔹“No wonder recruiters have a sh*t reputation.”

Here’s what I had actually sent them:

“Dear [Name],

Thanks very much for your application for the [Job Title] position advertised on our website.

Unfortunately, the client is looking for someone who has spent 5+ years working exclusively in an events role within a financial services organisation.

I will keep you posted with any other relevant opportunities that come up.”

Not automated.

Not vague.

Specific, professional, and kind.

And yet… today, this person has applied for another one of our roles.

Here’s the reality: it doesn’t matter how spot on they are on paper. I could never represent them now. Because my clients trust me to find the right person, and that goes far beyond skill set. It’s about character, professionalism, and reliability.

I get it. The job market is brutal right now. I wish I could speak to every candidate personally, and I wish I had the perfect opportunity for everyone, especially those who are struggling. I read every CV that comes in, and I try my best to give clear feedback.

But recruiters are human too. We’re doing our best in a tough environment. Sometimes my job isn’t fun at all.

So if you’re applying for roles, in any industry, remember this: your words matter as much as your experience.

Kindness costs nothing.

Rudeness costs opportunities.

When I shared this story on LinkedIn, I didn’t expect the response. Within a day, it had over 700,000 impressions, thousands of reactions and comments, and had clearly tapped into a much bigger conversation.

And here’s why I think it resonated: rejection is universal. Everyone experiences it. But the way it’s handled affects candidates, recruiters, and employers alike. If we don’t talk about it openly, nothing will ever change.

This isn’t negativity, it’s a vital conversation.

From the comments and conversations my post sparked, here’s what really stood out:

🔹 Kindness matters: most agreed there’s never an excuse for rudeness, and that professionalism works both ways.

🔹 Volume is real: recruiters can’t call every applicant, even though a personal call would always feel better than an email.

🔹 The market is tough: candidates are under pressure, and frustration is spilling over more than ever before.

🔹 Trust is everything: whether you’re a candidate, client, or recruiter, relationships only work when they’re built on respect.

➡️ The lesson? Rejection will always be part of the process, but how we handle it shapes careers, relationships, and trust. 

So, if you’ve found this blog because you’re looking for a new role, or because you’re hiring, remember this: recruitment is always about people first. Skills and experience matter, but character, communication, and respect are what build lasting relationships.

Kindness costs nothing.
Rudeness costs opportunities.